If indeed Adam's first words to Eve were, "Stand back, I don't know how big this thing gets", then marriage counselling was the obvious next step for the Bible's first couple. And if tumbleweed is blowing through the Gobi desert that is your sex life, then Sex Tips For Straight Women From A Gay Man — the book that claims to reveal secrets that could put the vava-voom back, is for you. 

Authors Maggie Berman and her gay friend Dan Anderson say they published the book after Berman and her gal pals took Anderson's advice on how to put the spark back into their relationships and got great results. 

The trick to keeping a man happy, says the book, is for women to just go for it and be more straightforward. 

In fact, like a modern-day Professor Higgins in My Fair Lady, author Anderson says: "Why can't a woman be more like a gay man?" 

Here's our selection of the best tips from the book: 

Be sparing with the perfume, and never wear dangly jewellery, unless you have done a first-aid course. 

Keep the hair and nail extensions a secret. If he finds a nail tip in the bed, he will think you are falling apart. 

When setting the scene for a night of passion, gay men wouldn't consider any bed less than queensized. In an ideal world it wouldn't have a foot or headboard either, but unless you are banged up in prison, that is unlikely. 

Give your teddies the night off — nobody wants to eyeball a threadbare Mrs Tiggy-Winkle when they are doing the dirty. 

Keep a small supply of condoms in a bedside table and separate the foil sachets — you don't want him to feel like he is taking a ticket at a deli counter. 

All men know the exact length of their tackle, to the nearest millimetre. Don't ever say, "Uh, if that's seven inches, then the ceilings in here are 20 feet high." He will never forgive you, or worse, he may even plot your death. 

Naming the crown jewels is apparently more popular among straight than gay men, with Roger topping the list, but Godzilla also gets a mention. No doubt shortened to God on a cold day. 

It seems men just want women to call the shots and do all the work. This shouldn't come as much of a shock, but perhaps it would be fun once in a while to throw caution to the wind and lose the winceyette nightie. Here's how the book suggests you turn up the heat: 

In 7th-century China, Master Tung-hsuan described 30 basic positions of "clouds and rain", but we could honestly only think of five, and one of those is impossible unless you happen to be doublejointed. The book recommends you try lots of positions, from Phoenix Holding its Chicken, to Bamboos by the Altar, and Winding Dragon, (which sounds more like a visit from the mother-in-law) and that you use a pillow for support. 

In short, the authors break sex down into three main races: 

Fantasy is fine as long as it is not the staple of your sex life. Lots of things are okay — dressing up, sex in a lift, dirty talk, handcuffs, edibles. But if he suggests anything that involves cutlery, feel free to say no.