Published On:Saturday, November 3, 2012
Posted by abg man
ScandalDisk's profits set to rise by 600% from scam and sex romp CDs
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ScandalDisk India, the company dedicated to manufacturing and selling blank CDs solely for Indian political use (i.e. only for propagating Indian political scandals) is set to raise its profits by 600% by the end of the financial year, company spokesperson Mumty Dumbty told Mocktale.
ScandalDisk manufactures CDs dedicated exclusively for Indian political scandals including raunchy romps by political and religious leaders e.g. Abhishek Manu Singhvi and Nityananda, telephone conversations by corporate movers and shakers that have a bearing on government functions e.g. the Niira Radia tapes and 'incriminating' CDs by political rivals to control each other e.g. the one allegedly used by Louise Khurshid against IAC. Only politicians and political activists can buy and write these CDs by showing their identity papers.
Asked why ScandalDisk is the preferred brand to circulate India's graphic scandals on CDs, spokesperson Mumty Dumbty said: "Our CDs are especially designed to provide extra clear images of sex romps by national and spiritual leaders, provide extra sound clarity in capturing corporate shady deals and offer extra speedy recording for politicians trying to pin each other's rivals." He admitted that ScandalDisk India monopolized business in this field.
A press release detailing how the company clocked such huge profits also said the current financial year saw the gross turnover going up more than 500 times compared with the same period of the previous year.
"The sales started soaring with consecutive cases of Mahipal Maderna and ND Tiwari, who were both seen romancing women much younger than themselves. These," said Mumty Dumbty, "sent our sales figures soaring and we're very thankful to the Congress for their contribution to our businesses. Close on their heels followed the Abhishek Manu Singhvi CDs and the Nityananda CDs, both of which were runaway hits, competing with the Niira Radia CDs some months ago, which were lapped up mostly by mediocre journalists pretending to have got scoops."
Asked about the current sales figures, spokesperson Mumty Dumbty was all agog. "With IAC in the picture, this is just the beginning. IAC will produce CDs incriminating Louise, Louise will shoot back with her set of CDs and there will be BJP/RSS-sponsored counter-CDs condemning them both. And there will be a few rigged sting operation CDs incriminating everybody, by new media houses, since FDI in media is just on its way. None incriminates the voters, so there would still be buyers galore," he gloated. Both Louise, IAC spokespersons, Congress and BJP spokespersons were unavailable for comment.
Stories in Mocktale are works of fiction intended to bring a smile to your face. They bear no connection to events and characters in real life.
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